This is the latest gem from the Bishen Singh Bedi arsenal. The statement is sharp, sarcastic, witty and hits its mark like an arrow from hell. The same archer, Murali’s tormentor-in-chief, has fired similarly stringing and accurate barbs at Murali in the past – “Javelin Thrower, Dacoit”!
Oh, and another one – “even if Murali takes 1000 wickets, I will count them as run-outs.”
Of course the latest remarks ruffled Lankan feathers. Of course everyone from the President to the chief justice of the country was offended. And of course, Murali got some more sympathy generating fodder, apart from his deformed arm that is.
I really don’t blame them. If I was Lankan, and Murali was pretty much my country’s only claim to fame, hell yeah I would be up in arms too, baying for Bedi’s blood.
My views on the subject are fairly clear. Murali’s action should be illegal. It doesn’t matter if he managed to chuck less than15 degrees under laboratory conditions. Matches are not played in labs, they are played on the field. Biometric experts do not adjudicate in matches, umpires do. Judging a chuck with the naked eye when the bowler keeps his arm straight and next to his ear is hard enough. Judging a chuck with the naked eye when an arm is bent to begin with, is near impossible in my opinion. This is why Murali’s action should be banned. This is what Bedi meant when he said “The ICC has created a monster by allowing this action”. He did not mean that Muttiah has one eye and horns growing out of his monstrous ass. He meant that this legitimacy granted to the action will open the floodgates to similar actions which will create a monster size problem down the road.
So say the Lankan cricket officials and even the Lankan media - “Bedi called Murali a Monster…..waaaan waaaan waaaan… !“.
Aaargh!!! Will someone please proof read their thoughts before they vomit their ignorance through their pie holes?
Well anyway, Murali’s posse got major-ly pissed off and threatened to file a $ 8 million law-suit against Bedi. I reckon they figure that this is a great opportunity to double Lanka’s GDP. And why not? Patriotism is a most noble emotion.
Not all Lankans are on the path of vengeance though. There are some voicing restraint – take for example Murali’s old pal Ranatunga (who has curiously managed to maintain a state of being “eight months pregnant” for the last 15 years). He eloquently advised – “When a dog bites, you don’t bite him back”. Yes, nice try with the one-liner Arjuna, now go back to school and try and figure out how to back up your punch-line with some reasoning (Bedi sure did). And good luck with the baby shower.
Meanwhile the inevitable has transpired. Murali and his slingshot arm have overtaken the retired master - Warne - as the highest wicket taker in history. I leave you with images of the new champion, the new King, shortly after achieving this momentous milestone. Surely you see the same grace, poise and class exuded by the new title holder, that I can so clearly see. Or is it an electric eel that has crawled into his arse and is now ferociously electrocuting the bejeebers out of his insides that has him so contorted?
