You didn't raise a terrorist, but did you set the stage for someone else to?

Going out on a limb to say that in the coming days, we’re going to see details emerge about some of the Paris terrorists that show a seemingly inexplicable disconnect - normal, loving families; friends that knew everyday teenagers that partied, drank, and chased skirts; neighbors that never noticed anything remarkable; and parents that are shell shocked that their offspring could commit such dastardly acts despite their loving, peaceful upbringing.

Then we'll hear from pundits that they are bewildered as to how something so evil could come out of something so “regular”. Fingers will be pointed at the mosque and preacher that "radicalized them", and to the trip to Syria, Yemen, Egypt, Pakistan, wherever, which served as the tipping point. Experts will talk about how we need to clamp down on mosques that evangelize radical Islam, and on travel to countries with known terrorist producing assembly lines.

All of this is on point, except for one tiny detail - it is only half the picture. We're not talking about one vital, indispensable, prerequisite for any of this to work - the early age indoctrination of tender minds to believe in a power higher than themselves, greater than their parents, trumping good sense, above the law, you name it.

That’s the first of two vital ingredients that go into the making of a religious Terrorist.

Ingredient 1. Instilling of an early-age belief system that teaches kids there is a man/men/women in the sky who created everything, oversee everything, judge and reward everything. Said man has a set of rules codified in a book (take your pick from religions around the world), and thou shalt follow those rules to serve your purpose in life. His is the supreme law, which by inference means that when there is a conflict between your common sense/man-made-law and his book, the supreme law wins. (Ok, most parents will not explicitly teach their kids this, but is it an inference hard to imagine? If you have ingrained unquestioning and ultimate obeisance in your child to a God and book, is it unbelievable that the kid would have internalized an inference that tells him – “if and when the day comes where your good sense goes against this book, believe the book”.

Ingredient 2. Radicalization through a catalytic event(s) in the teens or early adulthood, that guides towards taking action against a perceived threat to a religious cause.

The etymology of point two above is well know. It could come from a variety of means - it could be personal losses such as seeing a sister blown up by a drone, or it could be incidents far away that ring close to your value system – such as a hospital in Gaza being bombed and images of a bloodied infant being tweeted a thousand times per second. An empathetic irreligious mind is not likely to see such events as black-or-white calls to action, but rather will see them as a manifestation of a complex political reality of the world we live in. A deeply religious mind will evaluate these events differently. An unfair death of the infant continents away will be seen as a personal affront and a clarion call to action. Many will bristle with anger, spew venom, rant on social media and that will be it. Others though, with the unique combination of righteousness, stupidity, and a coach, will rise and bear arms.

In the case of Terrorism coming from radical Islam, world leaders and scholars such as Reza Aslan would have us believe that the actions of the terrorists have nothing to do with religion. “They are Evil and doing as Evil does”. Sure they are evil, but just like the tail does not wag the dog, evil is not driving the religious terrorist. Rather, the driving force is their religious interpretation of what their God wants them to do… “Evil” is then just a manifestation of their deeply held, incredibly motivating beliefs. And you have to believe that it takes super strong motivation for someone to strap bombs around their chest and blow themselves up to smithereens. “Just Evil” doesn’t even begin to explain that kind of motivation.

Let’s examine how early indoctrination plays a part in setting an indispensable foundation for later years. Ever pondered how kids determine who to fear/respect/be obedient to, in the circle around them? The same way dogs do – “observed obedience”. Kids and dogs observe the behavior of other family members/friends towards a subject, and make assessments around their fear/respect factor towards that subject. A dominant family patriarch who gets to boss over your mother, his siblings, the hired help, who all scurry to meet his wishes, will most likely inspire fear and obedience in the family dog as well as the children of the house. Now imagine a child processing how to evaluate the imaginary man in the sky, who even his Alpha dad bows to and speaks about in only hushed tones. Child is impressed. Next, said child travels to the place of worship every weekend and finds hundreds prostrate in reverence. Talk about “observed obedience” on steroids. “Surely so many people can’t be wrong. This IS the supreme being we’re kneeling in front of". Add to these signals the tales of mythology, magic, duty, power, war, good-vs-evil, all coming from the ultimate fountainhead of trustworthy information - the child’s mom, as a daily dose of fine upbringing.

What else is that child going to come out with through his formative years, except with an unwavering belief in a larger than life, do no wrong, close-your-eyes-suspend-your-belief-and-follow-me God?

What’s wrong with that you might ask?

Here’s what’s wrong. Every major world religion, is a case study in contradictions. Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, Judaism… take your pick. There is usually plenty of “world peace”, “love thy neighbor”, “be generous”, kind of stuff. Chances are, those are the parts you selectively served up to your child in religious training. But there is also stuff in the holy books of these religions, that to any reasonable observer will seem afoul of modern law and societal standards. Punishment prescriptions that rarely befit the crime, stark inequality towards women, homosexuals, it’s all there. To be clear, many, if not all these religions were ahead of their times when penned. But then societies have evolved, but for some, religion hasn’t.

Parents, you covered pages 1, 2, 3 and 5 of your holy book with your child. You deliberately left out page 4 which covered the appropriate response to someone insulting a prophet/god of the religion, or committing adultery, or blasphemy. You left out Page 4 because that stuff was graphically violent, you didn’t subscribe to those specific teachings, and didn’t want your child to either. But did you tell your child to explicitly ignore these verses, now and into the future? Did you tell the kid that these verses could actually have been the result of a human being transcribing the word of your God incorrectly, and that the book is hence incontrovertible only in parts? You didn’t. Page 4 was relegated to a “don’t ask don’t tell” status along with sex education. That convenient decision ended up all fine and good with many kids growing up in your faith. In their adulthood, they never bothered to go back and ponder page 4. They got an education, jobs, friends, families… got busy with life and page 4 never really surfaced again. Then they hear of a suicide bombing that killed dozens… the bomber claimed to belong to their faith and claimed his actions were guided by the faith. Saddened and shocked, the peaceful followers of this faith tweet #NotInMyName and swear that this act has nothing to do with their religion. True, but only half true. Indeed, it has nothing to do with the parts of the religion that were taught to these kids who turned out fine. But it definitely has to do with parts that were left out.

Lucky kids ignored page 4 and page 4 ignored them through life, so they’re insulated from its effects. But that suicide bomber? He wasn’t so lucky, or smart. He was probably 10 points below average in IQ, but born with strong traits of loyalty and duty, and emotions. His mom didn’t teach him page 4 either, but when he was 17 and beginning to explore the world sans his parents, he met a charismatic philosopher who sat him down and discussed the Book all over again… ALL of it this time, especially page 4. How could that kid resist? Those verses that mom glossed over, were now smacking him across the head with the force only God could have summoned. Soon, he knew what his God wanted of him and it scared him at first. He longed to return to his family, play video games with his 13 yeah old brother, eat his mom’s special kababs and forget about this “newly found purpose”. But how could he ignore what the Almighty, the uber-Alpha through his formative years, wanted? 17 years of indoctrination weighed against the logical machinations of his teenage mind. Game over. Indoctrination won. Steely resolve took over. He prepared for the mission. Last minute jitters set in the night before. "Can I really kill so many? What if there are infants and women around?" He reaches for his go-to, his Book. The mind is stilled by reading page 5 that reminds him that this world is temporary, pain is temporary, the relationships including the one with his family are temporary, and that the only thing that matters is following what God wants him to do. He flips to Page 4 again for good measure.

"I will cast terror into the hearts of those who disbelieve. Therefore strike off their heads and strike off every fingertip of them".

His coach's interpretation of this page rings in his head. It is clear what God wants him to do. His mind is tranquil now. Thoughts are no longer wandering. Human laws and concepts of propriety rendered meaningless. He actually has a smile on his face as he squeezes the detonator the next day, expectantly extending his arms outward before the deed, as if to say “I’m ready my sweet God. I’m making the ultimate sacrifice on your command. Lift me into your arms.”

Sirens wails, bodies lay fallen all around and a shell shocked mother walking her seven year old son back from school, covers his eyes tight lest he be scarred by the macabre sight of strewn limbs and rivers of blood. She dodges the police barricades and rushes him home. “There is so much evil in the world. We need to pray and seek blessings, Son.” They sit in their prayer room and she has him read the holy book… page 1, 2, 3 and 5. Not 4. Never 4. She smiles looking at her devout son immersing himself in the good teachings of the book and thinks to herself… “if only all the Moms out there raised their boys like I’m raising mine, the world would be such a better place”. There is a bang outside. Irony just killed itself with a dynamite strapped vest.